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I was right!!
Feb. 22nd, 2011 05:13 pmThere WAS something in the wall. HAH.
I opened up the closet under the stairs last week and found OMFG A BIRD. Ok, I didn't recognize it as that at first. I saw 'small brown alive moving thing' screamed like I'd been attacked by an axe murderer, slammed the door, ran upstairs and called Brynden at work to sob at him on the phone. I think it was something like "TheresaratinthecupboardunderthestairsitsaratIKNOWITSARATitsaliveanditsbrownanditsaratarataRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT"
Except of course it was not, in fact, a rat.
A rat would actually have been comprehensible.
I have NO IDEA how a BIRD got into the house. That closet doesn't open to the outside. It has no dryer vents and I don't even think it's got a heating duct so my only logical explanation is that the back of the closet under the stairs actually leads to Narnia. Except not Narnia because the bird didn't talk to me.
So, my logic tells me there is a Hellmouth in the basement, and Cthulhu vomited up a birdie.
Brynden had to come home from work, open the door, discover that the OMGDEATHRAT was in fact a small, flapping, extremely terrified bird, and then puzzled out a way to coax it out of the closet and out one of the downstairs windows, where it could fly free and sing sweet songs of the coming of the Elder Gods and the delicious taste of human eyes.
I, meanwhile, was bravely hiding upstairs. Under the couch. With a blanket. And one eye on the upstairs door in case the bird transformed into Yog-Sothoth and devoured the souls of all who beheld him. Because, you never know.
Once he'd successfully banished the avatar of Nyarlathotep of the Crawling Mist, he had to drag me out of hiding. He even tried valiantly for five whole seconds to refrain from laughing his ass off at my total and unabashed cowardice in the face of wildlife.
As I informed him, I do not do birds. They look like they remember when their ancestors were swooping down and snatching tiny bipedal mammals up for breakfast and like they're just silently thinking at you 'What goes around comes around... just wait mammal. Just you wait..."
So I'm good now. There's nothing else in the wall. Really. I don't hear anything...
Only... sometimes...
I think...
No.
Nothing.
Really.
I opened up the closet under the stairs last week and found OMFG A BIRD. Ok, I didn't recognize it as that at first. I saw 'small brown alive moving thing' screamed like I'd been attacked by an axe murderer, slammed the door, ran upstairs and called Brynden at work to sob at him on the phone. I think it was something like "TheresaratinthecupboardunderthestairsitsaratIKNOWITSARATitsaliveanditsbrownanditsaratarataRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT"
Except of course it was not, in fact, a rat.
A rat would actually have been comprehensible.
I have NO IDEA how a BIRD got into the house. That closet doesn't open to the outside. It has no dryer vents and I don't even think it's got a heating duct so my only logical explanation is that the back of the closet under the stairs actually leads to Narnia. Except not Narnia because the bird didn't talk to me.
So, my logic tells me there is a Hellmouth in the basement, and Cthulhu vomited up a birdie.
Brynden had to come home from work, open the door, discover that the OMGDEATHRAT was in fact a small, flapping, extremely terrified bird, and then puzzled out a way to coax it out of the closet and out one of the downstairs windows, where it could fly free and sing sweet songs of the coming of the Elder Gods and the delicious taste of human eyes.
I, meanwhile, was bravely hiding upstairs. Under the couch. With a blanket. And one eye on the upstairs door in case the bird transformed into Yog-Sothoth and devoured the souls of all who beheld him. Because, you never know.
Once he'd successfully banished the avatar of Nyarlathotep of the Crawling Mist, he had to drag me out of hiding. He even tried valiantly for five whole seconds to refrain from laughing his ass off at my total and unabashed cowardice in the face of wildlife.
As I informed him, I do not do birds. They look like they remember when their ancestors were swooping down and snatching tiny bipedal mammals up for breakfast and like they're just silently thinking at you 'What goes around comes around... just wait mammal. Just you wait..."
So I'm good now. There's nothing else in the wall. Really. I don't hear anything...
Only... sometimes...
I think...
No.
Nothing.
Really.