![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
so if I ever get published by Harlequin...
Jan. 9th, 2012 02:08 pmI'm either a)never admitting it or b)screaming about it from the rooftops, but ONLY if it gets an awesome title.
Like... Pregnesia or The Playboy Sheikh's Virgin Stable Girl.
To this end, I think I will add to my to-do list: Write the insanest whackadoodle romance possible. For the specific joy of seeing if I can actually finish it, and if anyone else can read it without making o___O faces during/after. If it ever gets published by real people I'll just consider it a bonus. This will be a labor of love. And cough syrup.
I'm kind of certain the whackiest and most insane romance plots have already been done either by Harlequin or Ellora's Cave but I don't actually care. TIME TRAVELING COWBOY SHEIK KNIGHTS FIGHTING FAERY DEMONS WITH UNICORNS AND SHIMMERING VHAMPYRES RIDING VELOCIRAPTORS HERE WE GO. WITH EXTRA BEJEWELED ELEPHANTS. AND SEX.
Don't worry, I'll at least spell-check it first. I would not enjoy being haunted by a scepter any more than you would. And... come on. I made it through three Merry Gentry books and two Children of the Moon. I'm not sure I can actually dole out a full book's worth of this kind of crack, but I'd be willing to try.
In the end the entire book will be waved away with a Shower Scene where Puck walks in and admits to the heroine that he totally fairy-drugged her the night before so she just tripped fairy balls over in a corner the night before but don't worry it was all a vision of her True Love. And that is actually why humans can't eat fairy food: It's entirely made of hallucinogenic mushrooms.
It's either that or something about 'He was the child of an Eldritch Horror and she was the daughter of that greatest horror of all, a forensic accountant...' sort of thing.
Though, you know, being kidnapped through time via a men's restroom by a medieval knight collecting for his Harem through the Ages collection is still the best ever. I mean, I know my romantic fantasy has always been to become a harem girl to a time-traveling medieval sex-addict. ... Ok not really. I'm more likely to think about a one night hook up with The Punisher TBH. Some girls like flowers and romance, some girls like seeing people's heads turned into pink mist. WHATEVER.
I think I'm going to give up on writing a straight-up medieval romance though. Maybe I'll have more luck if I add the uncut crack into its veins. I shall go back to my drawing board now and get back with you later.
Like... Pregnesia or The Playboy Sheikh's Virgin Stable Girl.
To this end, I think I will add to my to-do list: Write the insanest whackadoodle romance possible. For the specific joy of seeing if I can actually finish it, and if anyone else can read it without making o___O faces during/after. If it ever gets published by real people I'll just consider it a bonus. This will be a labor of love. And cough syrup.
I'm kind of certain the whackiest and most insane romance plots have already been done either by Harlequin or Ellora's Cave but I don't actually care. TIME TRAVELING COWBOY SHEIK KNIGHTS FIGHTING FAERY DEMONS WITH UNICORNS AND SHIMMERING VHAMPYRES RIDING VELOCIRAPTORS HERE WE GO. WITH EXTRA BEJEWELED ELEPHANTS. AND SEX.
Don't worry, I'll at least spell-check it first. I would not enjoy being haunted by a scepter any more than you would. And... come on. I made it through three Merry Gentry books and two Children of the Moon. I'm not sure I can actually dole out a full book's worth of this kind of crack, but I'd be willing to try.
In the end the entire book will be waved away with a Shower Scene where Puck walks in and admits to the heroine that he totally fairy-drugged her the night before so she just tripped fairy balls over in a corner the night before but don't worry it was all a vision of her True Love. And that is actually why humans can't eat fairy food: It's entirely made of hallucinogenic mushrooms.
It's either that or something about 'He was the child of an Eldritch Horror and she was the daughter of that greatest horror of all, a forensic accountant...' sort of thing.
Though, you know, being kidnapped through time via a men's restroom by a medieval knight collecting for his Harem through the Ages collection is still the best ever. I mean, I know my romantic fantasy has always been to become a harem girl to a time-traveling medieval sex-addict. ... Ok not really. I'm more likely to think about a one night hook up with The Punisher TBH. Some girls like flowers and romance, some girls like seeing people's heads turned into pink mist. WHATEVER.
I think I'm going to give up on writing a straight-up medieval romance though. Maybe I'll have more luck if I add the uncut crack into its veins. I shall go back to my drawing board now and get back with you later.
